Let’s face it sometimes we go looking for an argument with our partner. We nag, or look for things to fight about, and end up turning a small issue into a raging problem. Our personalities can be such that we heighten or escalate small conflicts into larger ones, creating a whirlwind of problems into a tornado without even trying.
Some personalities are strong willed, stubborn, and don’t like to admit they are wrong or imperfect. While this might make you excellent at your job, it isn’t always helpful in a relationship. Cultivating vulnerability, trust, and honesty means putting aside the need to be right all the time.
Conflict resolution is something that we can all be better at. Both people in the conflict have to be open to learning and growing through that experience or else it will never work. By setting down your weapons and meeting in the middle, you can both learn about yourselves and each other in order to strengthen the relationship.
During a conflict, it can be difficult to remember that you have control over the situation. Our autopilot fight reaction turns on, and it seems like we turn into a different person. This physiological fight response makes it difficult for us to think about what we are saying and react to it in favorable ways.
When you are in a fight, there are a few things you can remember to do in order to not escalate the situation.
Here are a few ways to not make the conflict bigger than it needs to be:
- Disengage from a fight. Don’t ignore the fact that a conversation needs to happen but realize that you don’t have to jump right into an argument. When you or your partner brings up something contentious, take a moment to cool off and think about why that topic or words set you off. You’ll start to notice your reaction to their words or actions as well as their own. You can ask yourself why you feel the need to argue, why you need to win, and why it matters.
- Approach your partner with grace, love, and understanding. We are all flawed, and we can get to know our flaws in ways that show we are working on them. Imperfection isn’t something we can change overnight but making a conscious effort can make a big impression on your relationship. When both partners are open to learning despite these argumentative tendencies, you can grow together.
- Resolve your own problems. You and your partner will argue, but it doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t working. If you find that your partner isn’t willing to work with you in order to resolve conflicts, focus on yourself. Focus on your response to conflict, your ability to effectively resolve conflict, and your desire to be better.
Understanding that we have control over our reactions during a conflict is pivotal. The suggestion to disengage and reflect before responding is particularly useful.
The article provides sound advice on conflict resolution. It’s true that our personalities can sometimes exacerbate conflicts, and taking a step back to cool off can be very beneficial.
The advice here is quite pragmatic. It’s useful to remember that conflict resolution is a skill, much like any other, that requires practice and patience. This article provides a helpful roadmap for anyone looking to improve their relationship dynamics.
Oh great, just what we needed—another article telling us to ‘be vulnerable’ and ‘put aside the need to be right’. Because clearly, acknowledging my imperfection is the magic wand that’ll solve every argument. Thanks for the enlightenment, truly!
It’s refreshing to see an article that highlights the importance of vulnerability and trust in resolving conflicts. The practical tips offered are applicable and can be very effective in real-life scenarios.
This article brings a breath of fresh air to the often turbulent waters of relationship advice. Understanding our own triggers and the dynamics of conflicts can indeed lead to more harmonious interactions. Kudos for such insightful tips on conflict resolution!
While the suggestions are commendable, it’s rather naive to assume that all conflicts can be navigated with such idealistic strategies. Real-life relationships are far more complex. There’s often deeper issues that a simple pause and reflection can’t resolve.
The guidance on resolving one’s own problems first is insightful. Focusing on personal growth and conflict resolution skills can indeed have a positive impact on the relationship.
Ah, the age-old wisdom of ‘disengage, approach with love, resolve your own problems’. Sounds almost too perfect, doesn’t it? If only real life followed such a neat script! Nevertheless, it’s good to aim high, I suppose.
The emphasis on approaching conflicts with grace and understanding is crucial. Acknowledging our imperfections and working on them can significantly improve relationship dynamics.
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