What’s Your Relationship Dealbreakers?

Getting in a relationship can be exciting but there are some things that you might not accept when it comes to dating. These things are called deal breakers. Being with someone even when they have deal breakers can cause you to feel disconnected in your relationship and might cause you to leave them. It is important that you talk about these things before you ever start dating.

Rather you say it or not, everyone has deal breakers. These are things that you don’t want to negotiate about, and these are things that could and should end your relationship. You cannot keep these things a secret and you should talk to your partner before you ever become just that…partners.

Some Deal Breakers

Here are some of the common deal breakers in relationships:

• Religion.
• Political views.
• Infidelity.
• Financial problems.
• Abuse.
• Drugs or other substance abuse problems.
• Sexual interests that are incompatible.
• Wanting or not wanting children.

There are other things that people consider to be deal breakers and these are important to discuss as well.

Talking About Deal Breakers

A person will never know what you want or don’t want if you don’t talk about it. Don’t be afraid of ruining your relationship by talking about your deal breakers because the truth is that if you stay with them and then they break these things, it will be harder to end the relationship. Be honest and up front with someone before you ever get too involved with them.

If you and your partner have the same interests and you are committed to each other then you both need to be open and honest about what you want and need. You need to make sure that you talk about what you are willing to put up with and what would be a deal breaker for you.

How to Talk About Deal Breakers

If you’re worried about talking about what you want, here is how to do it:

• Talk About the Idea of Deal Breakers

The first thing to do is to talk about what a deal breaker is. Have a conversation about what you want, and you need.

• Agree When and Where to Talk

Once your ideal partner knows what a deal breaker is, set up a time and a place where you feel comfortable talking with your soon to be partner about these things. Have a deep conversation in a place where you won’t be distracted. This doesn’t have to be something that becomes an event, and it might be something that needs to be discussed more than once.

• Show It Isn’t an Attack

Make sure that your partner knows that you aren’t attacking them when you have this conversation. It also doesn’t mean that you are breaking up with them if you are already dating. This is a hard conversation sometimes, but it is important.

• Use “I” When Talking

Make sure that you’re not pointing fingers or placing blame. Use “I” statements when you’re talking about what you want so that you don’t place the blame.

• Deal Breaker Behavior

Don’t give chances or ultimatums but let your partner know that there are things that will cause the relationship to come to an end. It has to either stop or you’re going to leave. The choice is going to be theirs as long as there is knowledge of what you will and won’t put up with.

• Talk to a Therapist

If you need to, talk to a therapist. They can help you to work through any problems that you might have. This can allow you to face challenges head on and see if the relationship is worth fixing and staying in.