One of the biggest, most important questions we have when we are in a relationship with someone is if they are ‘the one.’ We might think that they are, until the day they break our heart, or we fall out of love with them. Knowing if your person is ‘the one’ can be challenging, and yet that shouldn’t keep us from being open to new relationships and the exciting prospect of falling in love.
There are a few character traits that are good for any partner to have, especially a partner you’d want to spend the rest of your life with. Many of us get too excited during the early stages of our relationship, confusing the hormones and newness of the relationship with deep and lasting affection.
Here are a few things you should look for when deciding whether or not the person you are dating is lifetime material:
- They are respectful and communicative. Too many relationships fail because two people seem to be unable to talk to each other. Sure, you might have conversations about where to go to dinner or who’s house you’re staying at this weekend, but you struggle to connect when it comes to the deeper questions. If your partner doesn’t consult you on big decisions, argues rather than discusses, or otherwise keeps important information from you, this is a red flag.
Additionally, a lack of respect spells doom for any relationship. If you don’t feel cared for, respected, or treated well by your partner now, this likely won’t change in the future. Find someone who deeply respects you, as this gives time for love to grow.
- They have qualities you admire. Character goes a long ways- your significant other will keep their character and personality a lot longer than they will keep their good looks. Create a list of non-negotiable traits you want your life partner to have, and then date people who fit that list. There’s no sense in making a list if you aren’t going to follow it! Of course, be sure to keep in mind that no one is perfect.
- They accept you for who you are. Your life partner shouldn’t flinch at your flaws- after all, we all have them! If you feel like you can’t be yourself around your partner because they will criticize you, this isn’t a relationship you want to be in. We should all be looking to improve ourselves, but not at the expense of what makes us unique.
- You share similar values. Of course, we’re not going to see eye to eye on every little thing, but sharing the deep, important values is needed for a healthy relationship. If you find yourself compromising your values, consider why you are doing so. Is their approval worth giving up who you are and what you find important? You might think that being in a relationship will change how they think about certain things, but don’t bet on it; getting into a relationship with the intention to change that person rarely ends well.
- They should listen to their gut. Some people call this intuition. We all have it, but it is a sense that can be exercised. You and your partner should listen to your intuition to guide you through your relationship. This voice tells us when something is wrong, or when things are going well. Trust this instinct, and don’t be afraid to walk away if you need to. You should never have to compromise your health or well-being for a relationship.
