Singers, poets, writers, and philosophers have tried for thousands of years to define love. They have celebrated it, mourned it, praised it, and been laid low by it. One of the overarching human conditions present throughout our history is that we are consistently baffled and buoyed by the existence of love.
At different times in our lives, love means something different. When we are young, love is a fierce and desperate feeling. Our emotions and hormones rage, and we fall in and out of love as we struggle to gain perspective and experience in our lives.
As we grow older, love becomes more about actions. Love is companionship and nurturing; it is fining a partner and working to maintain a healthy relationship apart from just feelings and hormones. We learn what we need to do to have healthy relationships, and as we age, we see in ourselves and in our partners what it means to love and be loved.
Our individual experiences with love help us create our own definitions of this word. When we are young, we see love demonstrated by our parents to each other and to us as their children. Unfortunately, this can also mean that you see when love isn’t in a relationship. These early experiences with good and not so good examples of love cause us to see love in different ways. As we get older, we can start to see in ourselves how our early memories of love have shaped our opinions and perspective on the relationships we have in the present day.
How we love ourselves can have a major impact on how other people treat us. We set the example and the tone for how we want to be loved; without knowing how to love ourselves, we can’t expect another person to magically know what we need. Others are attracted to us based on our vibrations and energy and how we demonstrate love to ourselves and others around us.
Our relationships often fall into patterns based on our perceptions of love. We make decisions, often subconsciously, based on our early experiences with love. This can lead us to making a habit of choosing the wrong people, of sabotaging our relationships, or of simply looking for love in all the wrong places.
If you are looking to change your definition of love to embrace the relationships you know you deserve, start by examining the relationships in your life that have influenced you from childhood onwards.
What was strong about these relationships? What weakened them? What do you admire about the good relationships in your life? By writing these things down, you can begin to see how to change your own perspective and behavior when it comes to love.
As we start to understand our own attitudes toward love, we can begin to determine where we need to change. As our energy shifts, you might start to notice that you are attracting a different kind of person than you are used to or than you did in your past. Love can be challenging and hard, but it is also the greatest thing in the world.
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So, let me get this straight—if I start loving myself more, I’ll attract the love of my life? Maybe I should write a love letter to myself right now. Pardon my sarcasm, but the advice seems a bit too simplistic!
Ah, the timeless quest to define love! It’s almost poetic that after millennia, we’re still as clueless as we were at the start. Makes you wonder if we ever will truly understand it.
This article reiterates what many of us already know about love but fails to provide any groundbreaking insights. It feels somewhat redundant.
I respectfully disagree. Sometimes it’s important to revisit fundamental concepts to gain deeper understanding. The article is a good reminder.
I find it amusing how people dismiss the basics as ‘redundant.’ The irony is, we’ve overcomplicated love when it’s the simplest of truths.
The article provides an insightful examination of how our perceptions of love evolve throughout different stages of life. It is true that early experiences significantly shape our understanding and expressions of love.
I appreciate the emphasis on self-love as a foundational element for healthy relationships. It is an often-overlooked aspect that can truly transform how we interact with others.
While the piece underscores the importance of introspection in understanding love, it could benefit from discussing the role of communication in maintaining mature relationships.
This article is thought-provoking, especially when discussing how our early experiences shape our current relationships. It would be interesting to explore how cultural differences influence these early experiences.
As someone who has extensively studied human behavior and psychology, I must commend the author for succinctly summarizing the complexities of love. Understanding our formative experiences does indeed impact our adult relationships.
The article’s suggestion to reflect on past relationships to inform current ones is valuable. Writing down attributes of admired relationships can indeed provide clarity on what we seek in love.
I agree with your point, Delia. Reflection is a powerful tool, and it can really help in recalibrating our approach to love and relationships.
What an eloquently written piece! It’s fascinating how the human experience with love evolves over time and how our early experiences shape our present relationships. Truly thought-provoking.
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