Knowing the Quality of Your Connection with Others

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Quality of Your Connection with Someone

Love is fickle.  At any point one partner can be more or less committed to the relationship than the other.  When love begins to flicker it makes sense that one could be concerned that the relationship might be changing.  Whether it is changing into something deeper or fizzling out is up to both partners to process together.  This work will take time and it is up to fate as the details of how your union will evolve.

To help keep the anxiety at bay, pay attention to these nine signs to see if your love is as strong as you hope it to be:

  1. You Both Prioritize Time Together Away from a Group

Only when you and your partner are able to focus on one another can you understand your connection.  If you spend quality alone time together filled with substantive conversations and inside jokes, then your relationship is healthy.

2. Your Bond Has Been Strengthened by the Rough Times

Love is simple during the easy times.  It when you are able to persevere through illness, money, career, or family drama that you can see the strength of your relationship.

By being present, supportive, and open to feedback partners are able to show others that this love is more than just lust.

3. You Have An Easy Style of Conversation

If you both are able to talk freely and have conversations with depth, then you are on the right track!  Conversations between partners should be easy, free-flowing, and authentic.  Healthy relationships know how to strike the right balance between fun topics, and more serious issues without either partner feeling overly drained.

4. You Increasingly Spend More Time Together

Love is hard to sustain with emotional distance.  It must slowly evolve, being nourished with quality interactions and shared memories.  When you first dated it made sense that you saw each other more frequently.  But if you are only seeing each other a few times a month and are barely engaged, then you have some serious red flags!  You both should be on the same page as to quantity and quality of time spent together.

5. You Both Feel Free to Be Yourselves

Couples with a strong bond are authentic to their needs, desires, goals, and values.  They know that their partner respects and honors them as they truly are, and not a manufactured image.

6. You Show Up

Sure, when you first dated you met at convenient times.  Now that you are serious, love means showing up when your partner is stranded by the side of the road at 3AM.  Losing a bit sleep shouldn’t matter if you truly care about a person.  What should be prioritized is their physical and mental wellbeing and not just your own personal happiness.

7. You are Involved in Each Other’s Family and Social Circles

It takes a village to keep love healthy.  When you are invested in a person, you must also become involved in their interpersonal life as well.  If you are in a committed relationship but have never met their mother or best friend, it is time you both have a serious discussion about your future together.

8. You Both Can Travel Together Without Drama

There is nothing like the stress of travel to bring out the true nature of a relationship.  From the planning, packing, transit and experience of a trip there will be unique insights and lessons.  If you can travel together while making compromises, living in the moment, and laughing at the hiccups then you have excellent compatibility.

9. You Have More Than Just Sexual Adventures

Physicality is definitely one of the most enjoyable parts of a relationship, but romance is about both lust AND love!  Pay attention to how your partner wants to spend their next weekend together with you.  If they just want to roll you around in the sheets, then they most likely aren’t in love with you and you could be dealing with a dead-end partner.

13 COMMENTS

  1. Isn’t it a bit naive to think that love can be neatly categorized into nine signs? Relationships are far more complex and nuanced than this checklist suggests.

  2. The article provides a comprehensive overview of relationship dynamics. It is interesting to see how various factors such as communication and shared experiences play crucial roles in maintaining a healthy partnership.

  3. The notion that one must continuously prove their love through actions like showing up at 3AM is a bit outdated and manipulative.

    • Agreed. It seems like emotional labor is unfairly distributed in this scenario. Love should be about mutual respect and understanding, not grand gestures.

  4. Traveling together as a test for compatibility is a unique perspective. The stress of travel indeed reveals much about how partners handle pressure and unexpected situations.

  5. The suggestion that love requires continuous effort and commitment is insightful. Relationships are dynamic and require ongoing attention to ensure they remain healthy and fulfilling for both parties.

  6. The emphasis on spending quality time together and being involved in each other’s social circles is particularly noteworthy. These elements are often overlooked but are essential for a deep connection.

  7. This article is a refreshing reminder of what true love should be. It’s easy to get lost in the illusion of romance, but these points bring us back to what really matters in a relationship.

  8. Interesting. Each point could practically be a chapter in a psychological textbook. It’s amazing how these simple observations align with deeper psychological principles.

  9. Understanding and identifying these signs can significantly help individuals navigate their relationships better. It’s important to remember that both partners must be equally invested for the relationship to flourish.

  10. I can’t help but chuckle at the idea that traveling together is a litmus test for love. What next? ‘You know it’s love if you can assemble Ikea furniture without a fight’?

    • Honestly, assembling Ikea furniture should be the 10th sign! If a couple can pass that ordeal, they’re ready for anything life throws at them.

    • Haha, that’s actually a great point! Travel and Ikea could both test the patience and compatibility of any couple!

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