Attachment Styles and Your Relationship

Attachment Styles and Your Relationship

The attachment style that you have is important for yourself and your relationships. Being jealous or intimate both have to do with your attachment style. Someone that is securely attached will feel more committed in their relationship and the relationship will likely last longer than other attachment styles.

Those that are anxious about attachment styles are people that are often more jealous and the relationships struggle. In all of their relationships, securely attached people are more intimate and engaged and those that are insecure are less likely to have sexual intimacy and satisfaction.

If you’ve been dating someone for a while and things seem to be going good chances, are you have made a deep connection with that person. You have the same friends; you love to laugh together, and you don’t see any toxic traits. Now, your partner is at your house, and they ask you if you’re ready to be exclusive. What will you do?

Will you decide that this is a good idea, or will you feel that things need to slow down? The response that you make has to do with your attachment style.

There are four different attachment styles including:

  • Secure.
  • Dismissive avoidant.
  • Anxious preoccupied.
  • Fearful avoidant.

Each relationship is going to be difference and the way that you commit in a relationship will have a lot to do with many things. If you think about your relationships that you’ve been in though, see if you see some kind of pattern. Do you have a problem with trust, being jealous or being intimate? This is part of your attachment style.

Being Committed

When you make the decision to commit to your relationship it can be a rational process that you go through. This also has to do with your attachment styles though. Someone that is dismissive avoidant will not be as committed to their relationships as the other attachment styles. Those that are securely attached are the most committed.

People that are avoidant attachment styles are people that have more breakups because when things start to get close, they will often leave so that they don’t have to stay until the end.

Jealousy and Having Trust

Jealousy is something that happens naturally and this happens when you’re in relationships sometimes. It is natural to get jealous if your partner is flirty with someone else or if you don’t trust them. Jealousy is okay if its small but if it gets out of control it can cause behaviors that are toxic.

Those that have anxious preoccupied attachment styles are people that will be more likely to surveillance their partners and they will feel the worse than any other style when they feel jealous.

Those that are dismissive avoidant are not fearful of losing their partner, but they can be irrational in what they think their partner is doing compared with other attachment styles. The avoidant and anxious styles have a hard time with trust.

Those that are insecurely attached are people that will feel jealous, and they will do things to make their partners jealous as well.

Emotional Intimacy

There are steps to being intimate in a relationship including:

  • Being able to seek out care.
  • Being able to give care to others.
  • Being comfortable with yourself.
  • Being able to negotiate.

These are things that people will be able to do based on their attachment style. They are more connected with their partners when they are securely attached people, and this means that they communicate better, and they are able to have more friends.

Intimacy happens in all relationships and those that are able to have friends depends on their attachment styles and those that are securely attached have more friends and are more supportive than others.

Having Good Sex

People that are securely attached are able to have better sex than those that aren’t. They are able to communicate better, and this leads to better satisfaction. Those that are insecurely attached are not able to communicate about what they want when it comes to sex.

Men can have avoidant and anxious attachment styles and when they do they have more sexual addictions than others. Women that are insecure in their attachments are often those that provoke their partners.

Having a secure attachment style means that they have longer relationships, have more stability and are healthier in their mind and body.

Those that have insecure attachments often struggle with intimacy, but they can get help with this, and they can get counseling to help them to be able to deal with these kinds of intimate issues. All it takes is hard work and being open.


  1. This article provides a comprehensive overview of how attachment styles influence various aspects of relationships, including commitment, jealousy, and intimacy. It’s enlightening to understand that securely attached individuals typically experience longer-lasting and more fulfilling relationships. The distinctions between the different attachment styles—secure, dismissive avoidant, anxious preoccupied, and fearful avoidant—are well articulated and offer valuable insights into personal relationship patterns. Recognizing one’s attachment style can be a crucial step towards improving relationship dynamics and personal well-being. It’s also encouraging to note that even those with insecure attachment styles can seek counseling to address intimacy issues and cultivate healthier relationships through effort and openness.

  2. The article’s emphasis on attachment styles is valid to a certain extent, but it oversimplifies the multitude of factors that influence relationship dynamics. While it’s true that secure attachment can contribute to healthier relationships, it’s reductive to imply that other styles are detrimental without considering external factors like upbringing, past traumas, and individual personalities. Moreover, the proposition that securely attached individuals have better sex and more friends is a broad generalization that might not hold true in every scenario. Relationship success involves a complex interplay of multiple elements, and attaching too much weight to a single factor like attachment style might overlook more nuanced aspects of human interaction.

  3. This article offers a thorough examination of how different attachment styles influence various aspects of relationships. It’s enlightening to see how secure attachment can foster deeper intimacy and trust, while insecure attachment styles often present challenges that can be addressed through mindful effort and possibly professional guidance. The detailed breakdown of each style provides valuable insights for anyone looking to understand their own relationship dynamics better.

  4. So, according to this article, I need to get ‘securely attached’ to have better sex and more friends. Well, time to book an appointment with my therapist and let her know we’ve got our work cut out for us!

  5. While the article attempts to explain the complexities of attachment and relationships, it oversimplifies human emotions. Not everything can be attributed to attachment styles; people are far more nuanced.

  6. The article offers a rather insightful perspective on how attachment styles can shape our relationships. I found it particularly enlightening how it links our childhood patterns to our adult behaviors in intimacy. It’s like a light bulb moment for understanding personal and relational dynamics.

  7. The correlation between attachment styles and sexual satisfaction is particularly intriguing. This highlights the importance of psychological factors in physical intimacy, which often gets overlooked. Secure attachment seems to be a key to a well-rounded and fulfilling relationship.

  8. The distinction between different attachment styles and their impact on relationship dynamics is well-articulated. It would be valuable to explore more on how individuals can transition from insecure to secure attachment styles through therapies or self-awareness practices.

  9. Fascinating how some people think attachment theory is the ultimate relationship panacea. Next, we’ll be hearing how it can cure world hunger too. How about looking at the unique variables each relationship brings to the table?

  10. The explanation on how different attachment styles deal with jealousy and trust issues is quite enlightening. Those with anxious preoccupied attachment styles, for instance, seem to experience heightened surveillance behaviors, which might contribute to toxic relationship patterns. This is an important area for further research.

  11. The practical steps listed for achieving emotional intimacy are useful. However, the article could benefit from adding more real-life examples or case studies to illustrate how different attachment styles manifest in everyday scenarios and how individuals have successfully worked on shifting their attachment styles.

  12. This article presents a comprehensive overview of how attachment styles affect relationships, particularly in terms of commitment and emotional intimacy. It’s interesting to see how these deep-seated patterns influence our behaviors and interactions with partners. Understanding one’s attachment style could be pivotal in nurturing healthier relationships.

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