Be the One You Need

Be the One You Need

Being single can be hard. You have to do things by yourself, take care of yourself, and manage your life all the time. You have the freedom to stay in or go out, pursue your career goals, and make your life exactly what you want it to be. However, it can be hard to keep looking for ‘the one’ when you keep making the wrong choices in your relationship.

You shouldn’t be missing out on life because you’re waiting for the right partner to share it with; you should be living your best life every day, happy with yourself and who you are. Instead of waiting, start to look for ways you can become the person you’ve always wanted to be. Not for someone else, but just for you.

Here are a few ways to please yourself and improve your life, one day at a time:

  1. Date yourself. Want to go see that new band in concert? Get a ticket and take a friend! I you want to try a restaurant you haven’t been to before, go by yourself or get a group together to try it out with you. Find ways to be ok treating yourself to new experiences, whether you are alone or with others. Enjoying your own company is a huge step in being ok with being you. This way, you won’t have to share your popcorn with anyone at the movie theater!
  2. Learn about yourself. When you are starting to date someone new, you learn all about what they like and don’t like. You participate in activities with them, get to know their family and friends, and spend a lot of time thinking of someone else’s needs. However, you shouldn’t neglect yourself just because you are single. Take classes you’ve been interested in, go to a museum you haven’t been to before, and enjoy getting to know yourself!
  3. Trust yourself. In a relationship we tend to confide in that other person. We bounce ideas off of them, get their opinion, and rely on them to set us straight sometimes. When you’re single, you have to deal with some of these needs yourself. You can talk to friends, family members, or even a therapist, but you can also learn to be your own confidant and friend. Soon you’ll realize that you have the power and capability to solve your own problems.
  4. Support yourself. Everyone needs those people who will always root for you, but you need to be in your own corner as well. We can get down on ourselves, doubt our abilities, and be discouraged, but we always need to be our own best teammate and cheerleader. Take time to rest and rejuvenate after a hard week at work, and practice giving yourself some grace. Celebrate your successes and enjoy the person you are becoming.
  5. Love yourself. Show yourself affection, grace, and compassion. Compliment yourself and do things for yourself that a significant other would do for you. By treating yourself well, your expectations for how a new relationship should look will rise.

By meeting your own needs, you become the person you need the most in your life. You will be strong, resilient, independent, and entirely worth loving on your own terms. Embrace the love you can give yourself!