Whether you are a perfectionist or are having to live or work with one, this particular personality type can be exhausting at times. When you expect perfection of yourself and those around you, you often set yourself up for failures and disappointments. However, you will also find yourself being really good at accomplishing tasks, delegating activities, and getting things done.
As a perfectionist, you want things done right so that situations are handled smoothly and without problems. Unfortunately, this rarely occurs in life. It can be incredibly liberating to realize that the pressure you feel comes solely from yourself; there are no expectations you have to meet, and you can let loose and let it go every so often without everything falling apart.
Perfectionism isn’t a bad thing, but it can hold you back from living a life that is free, fun, and enjoyable. If you find that your perfectionist traits drive people away, keep you from enjoying social situations, or otherwise cramp your style, consider why these perfectionist habits are in your life and whether or not they actually serve you. If they make your life better, keep them. If not, out they go.
It can be difficult to separate your perfectionist traits from the rest of your personality.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself if you are wondering about your perfectionist personality, and whether or not it could be holding you back:
- Whose standards are you following?
For the most part, the perfectionist standards that exist in your life have been put in place by you. You want to work hard and do everything right; you need to look good, hold yourself to a standard socially, take care of everyone’s needs, and do it all better than everyone else.
This is harmful to you personally, because you end up exhausting yourself and the people around you with your efforts. If you find that your perfectionist standards are in your head, consider breaking down some of these barriers. You might find that they are not realistic in light of the goals you want to accomplish in your life, or the person you want to be.
- Does inaction get in your way? You might find yourself so scared that you’ll mess up that you save big projects for the last minute. Procrastination can be a sign that you don’t want to fail, but in the end saving things until the last possible moment can cause you to be unprepared. Notice if you are letting your fears get in the way of your goals.
- Do you stress over the small things? For perfectionists, the smallest of tasks or interactions can send you into a tailspin of anxiety, stress, and overthinking. Taking time to consider a situation is one thing but agonizing over it is unhealthy. Avoiding these stressors can also lead to an unhealthy cycle of avoiding risks because of a fear of failure. Now, here are a few things you can do to counteract the negative side of being a perfectionist.
- Reset your expectations. Rather than expecting yourself or other people to be perfect, align your vision with what is realistic for those people and that situation. Perfection isn’t possible, so limit what you expect of people to reasonable levels. This includes yourself, too!
- Shift your perspective. By looking at a situation differently, you can reframe it to better understand the realistic behavior required in that situation.
- Simplify your standards. Other people may not understand why you need everything to be perfect. When delegating tasks or taking on new responsibilities, make sure the people around you understand your expectations. This requires you to have realistic standards, too.
Remember that being a perfectionist isn’t a bad thing, but too high of expectations can lead to unnecessary disappointment, stress, and anxiety. Make sure your perfectionist tendencies are working for you and not against you.
I appreciate the practical tips on how to manage perfectionist tendencies. Resetting expectations and shifting perspectives are crucial steps in mitigating the negative impacts of perfectionism.
The suggestion to ‘reset your expectations’ is incredibly insightful. It’s a practical approach that can benefit not only perfectionists but anyone striving for personal and professional improvement. This article is a valuable resource for those struggling with unrealistic standards.
A perfectionist is someone who takes great pains, and gives them to others. It’s like being handed a manual on how to stress yourself out. Thanks for the hilariously true insight.
Couldn’t agree more! It’s like someone telling you to ‘just relax’ when you’re in the middle of a meltdown. Oh, if only it were that easy!
The article provides a balanced perspective on the pros and cons of perfectionism. It’s interesting to see how the pressure often comes from within rather than external sources.
The article makes a compelling case for simplifying one’s standards. Clear communication of realistic expectations can help in better managing both personal and professional tasks.
Agreed, Hawk. Simplifying standards not only helps in reducing stress but also fosters a healthier environment for everyone involved.
This article provides a balanced perspective on perfectionism. Acknowledging that the drive for perfection can lead to high achievements while also highlighting the importance of realistic expectations resonates deeply with me. It’s a delicate balance, but one worth striving for.
A very insightful read. The notion that our perfectionist standards are self-imposed is something that many people might not realize. Breaking down these barriers could be liberating.
I find this piece overly simplistic and somewhat patronizing. Perfectionism is not merely a personality quirk to be tweaked with a few questions and perspective shifts. It’s often rooted in deeper psychological issues that require more comprehensive strategies to address.
Oh, sure, just ‘reset your expectations’ and everything will be fine. It’s as if perfectionism is a minor annoyance rather than a complex, deeply ingrained behavior. How wonderfully simplistic!
The point about inaction due to fear of failure resonates with me. Procrastination can indeed stem from a desire to avoid mistakes, which ultimately hinders productivity.
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