Most people in life have been taught to look for red flags in their relationships. Relationships can bring a lot of conflict and they can also bring growth. The red flags are the parts of the relationship that you need to pay the most attention to because you need to make sure that you are finding people in your life that are good for you.
When you build relationships with people, you need to be mindful, and you need to notice if red flags come up. Instead of only noticing the red flags though, notice the green flags too which are positive actions and behaviors that make the relationship better.
Relationships are meant to change you and to help you to figure out what you want in your life. They are meant to bring people together that are attracted to each other. This should be a good thing.
Red and Green Flags
Here are some red and green flags to pay attention to:
1) Commitment
- Red Flags
The red flags means that someone in the relationship is still talking to or about their ex. This can be hard for that person to be present in the relationship that they are in. There will be a time where the person will grieve over their ex but it needs to be done before starting something new.
- Green Flags
The green flag is that there is no ghosting in the relationship and a person can relate to the lessons that they learned from their past relationship. They understand why the relationship ended and why it was better for both of them.
2) Being Aware of Trust that Is Broken
- Red Flags
The red flag of this is that the person is always asking and questioning where you have been and with who. They want to control you and they have a hard time trusting anything you say so they check up on you and try to look at your phone.
- Green Flags
The green flags would be that they trust you or that they are understanding that they have a problem trusting others. They will admit that they have had trust that was broken in the past and they are willing to grow and to get past this.
3) Peace and Moving
- Red Flags
This will be when person wants to get into a relationship immediately. They move too fast, and they don’t allow there to be a real dynamic. They want the relationship to happen overnight.
This can also be that they are sharing too much, too early in the relationship. They will give you information that you should not know yet and they are showing that they are very vulnerable. They are not setting boundaries.
- Green Flags
This is a time where they look at the dynamics of the relationship and they find out if they are with someone they are compatible with. They take time and they want to go slow.
They let the date know that they have certain intentions and that they want to get to know them better. If your date thinks that the pace is too fast, you accept that they want to go slower.
Boundaries
- Red Flags
This is when someone is always there, and they make commitments for dates when you are busy. They aren’t reliable and they have no boundaries.
They don’t want you to say no to them and they want you to not make them have boundaries. They don’t want to hear when they are wrong.
- Green Flags
The person will make dates on days that they are free, and they won’t compromise the calmness of the relationship. They have good boundaries.
4) Drama
- Red Flags
There is a lot of drama in the dates life. They talk about it constantly.
- Green Flags
There is conflict and balance, and they learn from the drama and learn to understand the lesson at hand.
5) Behaviors
- Red Flags
Having addictive behaviors such as alcohol or drug abuse, many sexual partners or even binge eating can be a red flag. These disorders go deeper than the disorder and there is more than just what is on the surface. The subject needs to be addressed with non-violent communication.
- Green Flags
The partner shows control when they drink and they are thoughtful about who they get into relationships with and who they have sex with. They care about themselves and others.
Final Thoughts
There are some red and green flags that you need to look at for your relationship. Make sure that you are living your life with people that are giving you more green than red flags. Red flags can be a problem down the road, and you need to really think things through before getting into a relationship with someone that has a lot of warning signs.
