It is normal to want to belong and to feel accepted. We all want the universe to make us feel part of something. Whenever we go somewhere, we try to fit in so that we can get the approval of people around us. We will be yes people and learn to not say no because we want people to love us.
If you are someone that has tried to please people and to do whatever anyone wants, chances are that you don’t feel good enough. And the truth is, if you put in all of your efforts, you will still not always fit in. You have to find a way to belong by being who you are.
Wanting to Belong
We all want to belong and there are times that even as children that we do things to fit in. There has to be a time when you do things on your own and you choose to feel okay no matter where you are in your life.
Sometimes you will get mistreated by others, and this can even be your friends or someone you love. When you want to feel at home and to feel loved, you have to look at life differently.
How to Belong
We all want to fit in because we want to be able to go places and be ourselves and to feel at home. When you want to fit in, it doesn’t mean that you do whatever the world says because you don’t belong of the world.
Belonging is being who you really are. Sometimes you have a hard time being this person because you are afraid of not being accepted. Here is what to do:
Do it Differently
Don’t do what everyone wants you to do. Do things differently. Let things embarrass you and know that you have to be who you are. Living your life how others want you to can be tiring and exhausting. You just need to do things differently.
When you start to live your own life, people will see who you are, and they will accept you. Those that don’t will never accept you anyways and you have to live with yourself.
Stop trying to fit in the molds everyone else makes and be your own person. You are meant to be who you are so embrace it.
Set Your Goals Yourself
You are the one that is going to set your own goals and meet your own dreams. No one else can make things happen for you. You can be whoever you want to be, but this has to be on your own. Do what you want to do and be happy with it.
Fitting in makes you want to do what other people want out of you but if you are doing what you want to do you will meet your goals and your dreams. Belonging means that you are reaching your full potential and following your dreams.
Stop Being the Cool Person and Be Your Own Person
You don’t have to be a cool person to fit in. You might have fun with some people that are the cool people and think that they need you, but do they want you?
When you feel needed you sometimes feel worthy but there is more to you than just being needed or being with the cool people. Find people that you want to be around that treat you like yourself. Find ones that love you for who you are.
Don’t try to fit in with everyone but find people that want to be around you, want to have your time and those that support you.
Make Yourself First
It can be important sometimes to please people but when you are a constant people pleaser you miss out on yourself. Stop giving your life to everyone else and learn to put yourself first. Don’t put yourself last just so you can feel like you fit in.
You have opinions and you are allowed to express those things. When you lose yourself to fitting in then you don’t really belong. Belonging means that you are as important as anyone else around you and they show you that you fit in.
You Are Going to Be Fine
Know that you are going to be fine no matter what happens in your life. You don’t have to fit in or belong to be okay. You will find people along the way that will help you to deal with things and that will love you. Living for everyone else all the time will only take away what you can do for yourself.
Be who you want to be and be what you want. When you let people put your standards up for you then you will never see who you really are. Where you belong will be a place that you know that you are enough.
Feeling at Home
When you want to belong, it takes courage to be who you are. It takes courage to say what you want and to not push people to make you fit in. Let people see you for who you are and those that like you will be there for you. These are the people that you deserve.
The best thing that you can do for yourself is to be with people that make you feel that you are at home, just as you are.