If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, chances are the topic of moving in together has come up. After a period of time in a relationship it might make sense to move in with one another to save money on rent, to plan for the rest of your lives together, and to continue being close to the person you love. There are upsides and downsides to living together, even if you are in a loving and committed relationship with one another.
Here are a few things to think about before making the big move in with your significant other:
One of the benefits of living apart is keeping the mystery in your relationship. You likely have your routines and your habits in the privacy of your own home, just as your partner does. When moving in with one another, you have to synchronize these habits around one another or risk conflict.
In a new relationship, you want to spend all your time with this new person. However, can you imagine being with them 24/7? Even though you might spend days with one another, moving in can be a shock.
Living apart allows both of you to be independent, even if you are committed to one another. Sometimes we need our space in order to function well. You can get up for work when you need to without fighting for space in the bathroom, enjoy a quiet morning without another person getting in your way, or spend a nice evening alone cleaning without someone coming through to make it dirty again.
Living separately also allows you to take small breaks during your relationship. You have a space of your own to relax and recharge without inconveniencing your partner. You can keep your mess, your quirks, and your habits without jeopardizing your relationship.
Living apart gives you the ability to end things without entanglements. If you live together and you break up, you both have to figure out who gets the apartment or the house, who will move out, and whose stuff is whose. Living separately can make it easier should the relationship fall apart.
Finally, living apart can make you appreciate the time you do spend together. Absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder, and by living apart you can still retain the excitement you have when you see your partner after time apart.
Keeping the romance alive is something we all struggle with, especially if we have been dating someone long-term. Living apart isn’t a bad thing and can even be a beneficial aspect of any relationship.