Avoiding Heartbreak and Non-Committed Guys

Avoiding Heartbreak and Non-Committed Guys

Understanding men can be hard but it also can help you to avoid those types of guys that choose not to commit.  Those types of guys are sometimes called heart breakers or players and if you are trying to find love, these are people that you want to avoid.

If you want to have good self-esteem, you must find people that will bring you happiness.  You have to understand the pattern of guys and make sure that you are avoiding guys that play games.  It is important that you are not always second guessing what a guy wants and what the relationship that you are in needs.

If you can learn to understand men that you date, you will be able to let go of ideas and will be able to focus on what you need in your life.  Do not worry about why a guy is not texting, how your body looks, what turned the guy off or what he might think of you.  If you can learn to understand a guy’s mind and what he is thinking, then you will not have negative self-blame when something doesn’t go how you hoped it would.

You have to understand that men are different and when you can learn to do this, you will stop self-blaming yourself and learn to move on with who you are.  You can understand that things are not just about you, but they are about his issues.

Understanding Men

Guys have different emotions than girls do and if you can learn to study and understand their unique qualities then you will learn to not judge your ideas on what you expect a man to be.  You must not expect a man to be like a movie or a fairy tale or to come and sweep you off of your feet.

No guy is going to be perfect and you need to look at the things that you do to sabotage yourself when dating and understand yourself before you want to understand a guy and his ideas.

Sometimes guys play the dating game and will act like he does with you like other women.  He will be programed in his mind to have multiple dates with different women and if he gets caught into it, he won’t change.  You cannot successfully change him, even if you want to.

What to Look For

Here are things that you need to ask yourself when you want to understand a guy:

  • What is he saying about real love? What does he say about women?
  • Is he negative?
  • How does he talk about relationships that he has been in before?
  • Does he have negativity towards his ex’s?
  • Does he blame his ex for everything?
  • What does he say about the future?
  • What does he think about marriage?
  • What does he say about being with someone for years at a time?
  • Does he say he will commit?
  • Does he say love is not real?
  • Did his parents get married?
  • Does he go to church?
  • Does he have role models that are in serious relationships or marriages?


The next thing to find out about your guy is if he is willing to grow.  If he has a lot of issues or is self-centered, chances are he is happy where he is at and he is not ready to grow yet. If he is not like that, chances are he is growing and as he gets older, he will evolve and will learn to leave his current life behind.

If a guy has a huge dating pattern, chances are that he can change and he could be a great partner for you, but chances are that he won’t be.  Remember, no guy is perfect, and neither are you.  How much does this man that you are with love?  Is he willing to change?


You have to understand that being in a relationship is hard and that some men have a dating pattern that is a dead-end pattern.  The relationship will start out good and then it will end up bad.  The idea is that if you want to date people, date three guys at one time and that way you will not be too involved with one.  Do this for 90 days and see if you can find a romantic pattern in any of the guys.  This will allow you to be slow and to see different patterns from the different guys.

Gut Feeling

If you want to understand a guy, go with what your gut is telling you.  If your gut is telling you that it is a mistake, chances are it is and you need to cut your losses.  If you want to try it for longer, give it a go but do not let your heart get too deep into it.  Do not let a guy take advantage of you and don’t stay in a relationship that will never go anywhere.  Remember, you are worth more than that.