It can be hard to figure out how to live once you end a relationship with someone that you once loved. A relationship that ends can be hurtful and it can even cause physical symptoms such as depression and stress. The mental stress that comes with a break-up can be painful and so it is important to learn how to live after a breakup.
Once you are dating someone and especially if you have been with them for a while, you will be used to them being around you and they will be part of who you are. Once they aren’t there anymore it will change the model of your life and how you do your day-to-day functions.
Even if the relationship break up is mutual, it doesn’t mean that you will not feel pain. Some people will even lose their own thoughts of who they are, and this will cause you to have to learn to cope and how to learn to follow your own path again.
Here are some things that you can do to live after a breakup:
- Own Your Feelings
It is normal to have feelings after a break up. If your heart is broken, then you need to allow yourself to feel that sadness and that anger. Give yourself a night each week that you can give yourself permission to cry. But then, set a date that you are going to get up and go out and do something fun for yourself.
By giving yourself time to grieve, it can help you to realize that you have emotions and that they aren’t going to last forever. You might feel them now and for weeks or even months, but they will eventually heal.
- Make Other Plans
Find a way to distract yourself and one great way to do this is to go out with family and friends. Focus on people in your life that love you and that will be there for you when times are hard. You can also read a good book, take a bath, go on a mini vacation, or just go out and do something that you love. Some people will volunteer their time during heartbreak.
Do things that treat you with something that you love and learn to love yourself. Self-care is important during this time.
- Remember Things That are Good
Remember the good times that you had when you were with that other person. Notice the good things that you did together like raising kids together or making it through an illness that you might not have made it through without each other.
Be thankful as you move on from the relationship that there are good things that you can remember along the way.
- Stay in Touch
Some people might not be able to keep in touch with their ex, but this can be helpful for some. You might even hang out sometimes and remain friends. If this can happen and you can stay friends, then do it but if you have to move on with no contact, do whatever is healthy for you.
- Find Yourself
Most people make sacrifices in relationships and that includes you as well. Take time to find who you are as a single person and be who you are accountable for. You were once accountable for someone else and now you aren’t, spending extra time taking care of yourself.
- Don’t Rebound
Don’t run into rebound relationships just because you are sad or lonely for a moment. This will end up hurting you more and hurting someone else in the process. Bad things will happen if someone ghosts you or dumps you during this time and you want to avoid that drama.
There are some people that want to write down everything. Even if you aren’t a writer, take time to journal the things that you went through before, during and after your relationship. Write down good things and bad things.
No relationship is all good or all bad. Make sure that you focus on what you are feeling when you write, and you can go back and look at it again later once your heart begins to heal.
- Don’t Get Back Together
Grieving over a broken relationship can be hard and it can be tempting to get back together with that person. If things were bad enough that you decided that the relationship was no longer worth your time or effort, getting back together will just get you back in the same situation.
- Process the Relationship
Do whatever you need to do to process the relationship and to move forward. Reflect on what happened in the relationship and meditate on it. Journal what you are feeling, talk to someone that will listen and if you need to see a therapist, do it.
Look at the relationship as a whole and figure out what went wrong and what was right in the relationship. If the relationship was full of abuse, you need to move on without concentrating on any of the good. Always get out of abusive relationships and don’t take the blame for it not working out.
- Forgive Yourself
Relationship problems come from both parties and instead of being mad at the things that you did or didn’t do, learn to have forgiveness and compassion on yourself. Figure out how to distract yourself and how to get past your sadness and your hurt.