Relationships go at different speeds. Some people feel the need to rush through relationships and they want the first date to become an engagement the next day. That is a little drastic, but the truth is, relationships do need to go slower.
When you rush through a relationship, chances are that you won’t be able to grow together like you should. If your relationship is going too fast, slowing down can help to make the relationship last.
Take the Relationship Slower
Have you been dating someone casually, on and off? Or are you getting ready to go on your first date with someone you’re interested in? Going slow in relationships doesn’t have to be hard, as a matter of fact, if you are slow from the beginning then you can make sure that you are both on the same page when it comes to what you want.
Setting your intentions and deciding early on that you are going to go slow can help you to set boundaries and help you to see if you are getting what you want. If you are seeing someone that wants to be in a serious relationship in a few months and you want to wait at least a year before you ever get serious, chances are, the relationship won’t work for you.
Discuss the relationship goals and then move forward as you feel comfortable doing that. What do you want to move slowly in? Do you want to commit at a slower pace, or do you want to become exclusive faster? Do you want to wait to have sex? Talking about what you want and what pace you want to go is a good place to start your dating conversation. Then as you choose to move forward in your relationship, you can keep talking about what you want and go through it in stages.
Going slowly can help you to understand your relationship more. It can help you to be at the same speed as your partner so that there is no pressure, and the relationship is at peace. Talking about the relationship means that you can move forward together and not make it into a race.
Figure Out Your Pace
The best thing to do is to figure out at what pace you want to go in the relationship. Do you need to go backwards instead of forwards? Do you need to start over like you were on your first date again? Do you want to spend more time with yourself and less time with your partner?
You need to take time to talk about what you want. Maybe you are someone that never really has any expectations of moving forward any further in the relationship. Maybe you are expecting too much from your partner or they are expecting too much from you. Ask your partner to slow down and to give you the time that you want in order to be healthy in your relationship. If they are rushing you, the best thing to do is to explain what you want and if they can’t give it to you then move on.
Take the Relationship at a Steady Pace
When you first get into a relationship of course you want to go slow. You want to make sure that you are at a steady pace and that you are both moving forward together. The problem comes when someone starts a relationship, and it has progressed and then they want to slow way down. This can be hard for your partner to understand.
Your partner is used to how things have been and changing them slower can be hard for them to accept. Slowing down though can happen and if your partner is patient with you and if they are respectful of you then they will give you what you want in that manner.
It is important to figure out why you want to slow the relationship down and then talk to your partner about it. Be honest with what you want and don’t try to hide things. Talking to your partner and finding out what they want can keep things strong and calm. It is important to explain everything and what you are feeling and why.
Once you sit with your partner and you talk these things through, find out how they feel about slowing down at your pace. Let them know what you need and that you want them to respect you. Help them to understand that you need to have this change and discuss the agreement behind it. Tell them that you will love them even more because they respect what you want in the relationship.
Go Slower But Not Too Slow
After you slow down in the relationship, make sure that you don’t slow things down to a halt. Doing this can cause the relationship to tend. Talking with each other is going to help to make sure that you and your partner are both comfortable with what is going on. Going too slow though can make the relationship come to an end.
If you live with your partner and you want to slow things down, moving out can cause there to be more problems in the relationship than help. This is going backward instead of going slower. You can’t just move in and then move out and expect that the relationship can keep growing.
You can take time to slow down though if things are hard or overwhelming for you. Like you can decide to spend more time with yourself and have more self-care or you can spend more time out with your friends.
Make sure that you are talking through what you are feeling and what you want. Going slow in a relationship is always a smart idea but you need to make sure that if you love the person that the relationship is moving forward. You don’t want to create tension or unrest between you and your partner. You want to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page.
What If Your Partner Disagrees?
Each person will move at their own speed. If you and your partner aren’t able to agree with slowing things down, then this might make the relationship not work. Your partner might not want to change around their life to make the relationship slower and if this happens and they cannot accept the change that you want, then you need to decide if you want to stay in the relationship or move on.
Learning how to go slower in a relationship can come with fear and anxiety when it comes to commitment. This can cause problems in the relationship. Sometimes though, the relationship needs to have balance and that is why you want to slow down. The best advice is to talk over with your partner and see what is healthy for both of you.
