Breaking up is a difficult time in anyone’s life, whether you were the one doing the dumping or being dumped. We all have our own methods of attaining closure after a breakup and dealing with the loss of this important person in your life can take some time.
Although there is no formula for moving on after a breakup, there are a few things you can do to ease this transition in your life. It can be challenging to understand what you need to do to move on, especially if you don’t want to move on.
If you are in a relationship that isn’t moving forward, but you aren’t sure if you want to break up or not, here are a few red flags to watch out for.
If there is physical, mental, or emotional abuse in the relationship, get out of it. This isn’t a healthy situation and you deserve better. Similarly, if there is drug or alcohol abuse that is making your relationship unsafe, you should leave.
Before a breakup people often report their partner acting distant and unwilling to communicate with them. This can be a sign that your relationship isn’t working, or that one or both of you has started looking in places other than your relationship for fulfillment.
If your partner is hard to be around and you feel tired, drained, and sad when interacting with them, this is a good indication that your relationship isn’t headed anywhere good. Your partner should energize you and support you and be a source of laughter and joy in your life, not someone that brings you down.
If you have recently broken up with someone, here are a few steps you can take to begin moving on from the breakup:
- Remove negativity. Although it is difficult to not have contact with your ex after a breakup, establish some boundaries. Consider not talking to each other for a period of time so that you can cool off and recover from the breakup in your own time. This can be a challenge if you have kids or other commitments together, but it’s not impossible. Keep your connection to them loose, and don’t be afraid to cut ties in order to heal.
- Take your time. Getting over a breakup doesn’t have a time frame, but trust that you will get over it in time. Give yourself the time and space to wallow, to have a bit of self-pity, but then to pick yourself up and move forward.
- Invest in yourself. The time after a breakup gives you a chance to regain your sense of self. Get to know who you are, what you like, what makes you happy, and begin to restructure your life around yourself instead of another person.
- Exercise and meditate. These practices allow you to attain physical health as well as mental clarity. You can get fit while establishing new habits and routines that are just for yourself. Meditation can allow you to obtain peace and discover more about yourself.
- Surround yourself with friends. We’ve all had breakups. Your friends should be there for you, just as you’ve been there for them during their trying times. Surround yourself with support and love and be sure to thank your friends for supporting you.
The time after a breakup can be hard, but it isn’t impossible to get through. There is much we have to learn about ourselves after a breakup, and ways we can learn from these experiences to move on to better relationships in the future.